Planimeter: a measuring instrument used to determine the area of an arbitrary two-dimensional shape.
Infucation: The act of painting or staining especially of painting the face
Undergo: To go or move below or under
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Mr Wills hadn’t left his house for two decades after returning from the war. It was for this reason, along with the honeyed windows and the reams of cigarette butts that littered his garden, that most people assumed his house was abandoned. It was just another one of those buildings that the postman delivered leftover junk mail to, the council couldn’t care less about and whose neighbours were too busy collecting their weekly giro to really pay attention to anything outside of their taxpayer funded inner sanctum.
Truth be told, this suited Mr Wills perfectly well, for he had a task to complete. It was essential that he complete this task or He would not be happy.
The elderly man got by on very little, drinking only tap water and eating only egg and cress sandwiches, but without the bread. He kept several hens in his conservatory and grew cress in every available window, so he rarely went hungry. His appearance seemed unaffected by this curious diet and so he bore the same look of any man slightly past his prime –thinning hair and greying temples, skin slackening like worn jeans and a pair of rheumy eyes that were more at ease behind a set of strong lenses.
Mr Wills spent most of his time completing his task, rarely breaking for lunch. Instead he rose early for a snack at daybreak, then finished off any leftovers before he went to bed. Mr Wills didn’t particularly like sleeping, as this was when he had to undergo the nightly status report.
He would regularly berate the elderly man for his painful fastidiousness, asking why he couldn’t speed up and when did he think the task would be done. Mr Wills, who felt he lacked the authority to speak up and say that he had never actually been told how to complete his task, instead simply dreamed of nodding. It had taken many years to perfect, but Mr Wills now knew that to pacify the voices he simply had to nod and He would slowly dissipate into the recesses of his mind, like a sea mist under a midday sun.
Sitting at his desk one morning, Mr Wills was hard at work. He would scribble wildly on a piece of paper with a fountain pen, measure the area of this arbitrary, non-Euclidean shape with a planimeter, make a note of its area in a nearby ledger and then begin the tedious infucation process. He used paints made of crushed clay and dirt, mixed with water and then dabbed lightly into different sections of the scribble – any acrylics he’d once owned had been used up years ago. He then hung the final product on the wall with a pin in each corner, taut.
These strange paintings slithered over every inch of every wall of Mr Wills’ house like snakeskin, a haunting mural .
A short while later, with russet sludge dangling from the tip of a very fine paintbrush like snot from a nostril, Mr Wills was disturbed by a sudden buzzing. It buzzed twice then stopped, so he ignored it. When it buzzed again five minutes later, Mr Wills finally realized what it was. It was his doorbell.
Stories On The Sofa 