Asked for a ladder that Jacob couldn’t climb,
The clattering hubbub pulled my minds eye
To the gash in the back of her black wool tights,
Might try to cling on tightly not tiredly
If they weren’t so unsightly, reuniting skin
With fresh air, oxidising her legs
Along with her burnt copper hair,
Girly curls of wire curling so wildly,
Wily as a coyote.
Call her a talking, flaming bush, I’m blaming the peyote
What’s there to show me in your red leather bag?
Adorable Pandora or fair weather hag
Using the bag to haggle with her hangnail charm,
Two hands hang at the end of her arms
Cutely curtailed with cuticles so beautiful
They disarm. There’s no cause for alarm
But looking back, they were beautifully black,
Cos black nail polish is a tip top tactic
To hide all the grime,
The sort a whiny white male would acknowledge as
The secret residue of cut lines.
Her plush cheeks blush meekly from the pre-dinner wine,
And cork coloured eyes spill wider
Than the widest oil spill those sinners tried to hide.
No truth, just crude lies cruising so wide they were
More out of this world than that Buck Rogers guy.
Watch her buck teeth chew the buckwheat,
Buck the trend of the lean in 15 cheat sheet.
Got some pretty neat tats,
Inked in bric-à-brac stacked
In a handy habitat
Between each finger, imagine that!
My gaze lingers like a lazy acrobat on
A love heart and a peace sign and
Other tat like that,
Abiding, silently hiding until the oyster emerges at the end of the line
Hard to define such a boisterous girl
When you watch her spit out a spearmint pearl.
Tag: verse
30th January Commuter
Cross legged leggings suspend fake leather leggys
In plasticine webbing, shiny and taut.
Puckered lips from the lemon tort,
A citrus blemish caught out and worn outdoors,
Can’t explore the great outdoors behind self-closing doors.
Black hair, feathered like Raven feathers,
Extra volume, very clever; too clever
By half. Too smart by a quarter.
Watch the silver bangles jangle
That her boyf probably bought her.
I’m pressured to make these presumptions,
It takes a certain kind of gumption, like wearing
Gummy rubber boots to a black tie function.
Doc Marten’s stomping the junction,
So shiny I can see my face in ’em
So shiny I wanna eat my lunch off ’em
Clapping the ham, applauding the meat
Tapping the letters into a text,
Better yet,
Call it a love note to a soon to be ex,
Time to reset and see what’s next
Cos the text that she wrote,
Left hearts broke
As though it’s murder she wrote.
Hid it so well under her black winter coat
Sniffing so well all the white winter coke,
Or maybe she’s sick and just cannot cope
With such a big winter coat; it’s far too warm,
Sweaty and alluvial, can’t wait to be born
From this metallic womb, silver spoon,
Stainless steel room, booming rumours
Chasing each station, burning tinder relations
It’s a fishy equation,
So Pisces she can’t see the fella.
Squinting those eyes at the guy’s, ay Ella?
Stirring things up a bit mrs paella,
Out of this world, Interstellar,
Digs the dark not the stars, clear night, no weather
Dunno whether she’s into selling the soul
She keeps down in the cellar.
25th January Commuter
He fumbles a thumb out of his glove,
A single digit shrugging off the above and
Exposing brown skin next to his cuff.
A fat, proud worm,
Stunted and rough. Peeled skin shrinking
As the cold air sinks in. Why do something
So obscene? Well, how else is he s’posed
To get a fingertip grip right on the screen?
Cos swiping gloves on glass is like
Wiping your ass with Vaseline,
Or quenching your thirst with kerosene.
Besides he needs a fix of technology’s morphine
And an apple an hour keeps Doc Rob lean.
It’s the ho-hum, hum-drum,
Drumming thumb, thumbing the thumbtacks
Stacking the hardbacks in favour of
8 Ball Pool and Clash of Clans, the themes
Clashing like cans, can’t stand the sounds
That obnoxiously pound our ear canals and surroundings.
Pet peeve, it’s one of those makes me frown things,
One of those down the mine, dead canary things,
One of those things best solved
With arrows and bowstrings.
Stringing us along on toe tapping
Steel capped boots, still can’t lose.
Hugs the back to front backpack
To his front not his back, sitting bareback
Head as hairy as a hairless bear’s back.
Honeycomb combover, thin as gauze,
Food for thought, thought for pause,
Pause for the lung thawing, throat scoring
Coughing prologue stop, starting
Over and over, tick-tocking, set your watch
To oily cogs slipping through the daily slog.
Mr Groundhog bogged down, sunk
Into a duck down coat.
Gotta wonder where the feathers go?
Too slow, eyes close, nose blows,
Blood flows, doors shut, train goes.
24th January Commuter
She’s nipsy-nipsy, oh so tipsy,
Bar shift over overly early,
Po-faced, no Dipsy.
Tinky-Winking like La La Land
But no tips on the bar where the jar-jar stands.
Check out that stance, hot pants sentry,
Sent to guard train entries with
Knee high black socks and the 21st century.
Wonder if she sees me seeing her,
The phone in her hand might as well say
‘Do not disturb’.
Hot blood vessels snake
Up exposed thighs, from the toe to
The heel and then up to the eyes,
Exposing each capable capillary
Lifeforce artillery, papercut distillery,
Silently standing so still it’s verging on inverse versatility
Some static mannequin-type anonymity.
Come on a minutey, for all intents and purposes
She’s intensely focussed on the proclivity of
Low hanging fruit, the pockets that sag like there’s nothing to lose. If only she knew.
Cos short shorts lead to all sorts of
Bertie basset thoughts and liquorice storms.
But of course you can’t force meteorological remorse
Onto the innocence of youth. I mean she’s
Looking mean and meaning business in
A green bomber jacket the colour of a
Golden Virginia tobacco packet.
It’s fucking one degree above zero and
she needs to sort it out, pack it in,
Showing way too much skin…
Now that’s not misogyny, it’s just
A legitimate citizens concern that
When she leaves, she might actually freeze
16th January Commuter
He’s the double of Douglas and ten times the fun
Not as sporty as Sportacus, but ten times the glutton
Chucking food down his throat like he’s shooting a gun
Should’ve guessed from his look,
Looks like Robbie Rotten.
Done gone sit on his ass,
Graspin’ a Sainsbury’s bag
And Clasping the satchel keeps me from snatching the snacks
See this classy old rascal,
Is gonna stick to his task
Gonna get himself home and empty the bag.
But home is so empty except for what’s on his back,
So sack off the ruckus, unzip the zips on your bag,
And let the gold teeth start glinting,
I guess ay you got swag.
Cracks the black Pepsi Max with his swaggering jaws
Mooncakes and food pour all over the floor.
Those old-skool crepes,
Must be breaking a law.
Call the fashion police to point out his flaws,
Treat the black turtle neck just like a trapdoor,
Drop down the head,
Call it Squirtle’s withdraw,
The tactical turtle with the slappable girdle,
Sorta wish that jelly belly would finally curdle,
Oh you want thicker milk?
Just keep spinning that silk,
And spinning those lies,
Like it’s Rome that you built;
Like it’s hunger not guilt.
Just keep spinning those lines,
Let em build up like silt.
Let em build up bigger and we’ll christen the chins
You know, the ones that are never there
When you begin.
13th January Commuter
Tea cosy on her head,
Teabags beneath her eyes,
Let em brew, until death is nigh
Tannin skin, tie dyed the fading light.
Must be some kind of madness, right?
To dress in mouldy tweed coats, giant jumpers
And baggy trousers that swamp yer height?
That’s like, I dunno…
Throwing yourself into a crocodile’s bite.
So I don’t wanna see no crocodile tears, give em a wipe
Give em a swipe, grin with your teeth,
The gum hangs underneath, mouth agape,
Ticker tape teeth all over the place.
It’s a state caused by not
Bothering to brush enough; cuffs turned up
It’s dat grab, spin and roll
Walking boot trainers, all grip and no soul,
Just enough salt for the sole to handle the cold.
That little Buddha grin begins to take hold
And tributaries start flowing in skin papery and old,
Crunchy brown paper bags screwed up in a ball,
Fold her clothes to forgo the wrinkles,
Then wrangle a wink when you try to mingle,
With the singles; singling her out should have been so simple,
Like spinning a pinball or popping a pimple.
Queen bee shuffling along not dragging her feet,
Bluffing along cos I guess when you’re old,
Dragging your feet amounts to defeat
And just getting around is actually quite a feat.
Cos now she’s falling asleep…
Drifting off…
Dozing but knows when
The platform’s approaching.
Eyes might be closing
They’ll snap back right open when the doors start to open.
Well, at least that’s what I’m hoping.
Stories On The Sofa 