Dear Doctor Eggman with
The approximate egghead
All shiny with sweat and snail glue spread,
Almost perfectly round,
Who needed his dough? Who shaped his bread?
Got the millet grain beard, rust on the skillet.
He’s silly & willingly wearing
Skipping rope loops looped over his head,
Chunky bucket handle Headphones
Would drag him down to the depths.
Embedded his ears in ill-fitting earphones
Caresses and fusses with his hi-tech smartphone
Ring on his finger implies a sweet moan
But his hunched over posture cries leave me alone…
To atone for rocking a tweed jacket on this sunny day,
Fucking sack it off, just pack it away
I’m getting heat stroke and we’re going the same way,
Can’t look away from the soft sweat stains
On his picnic blanket shirt,
The one tetrised with squares
Careful yogi don’t get jokey
Cos I don’t think this Pudsey
Can handle a real bear.
Pickernick shirt,
Pick n mix dirt skirting cuticles like fur
Couldn’t be further from the cubicle
Heading for the sofa, which he clearly prefers.
Pre-prepped his crepes,
Stage managing each step
So his brown leather boots boast scuff marks on purpose.
Purportedly supportive of bovine extortion
And the supple contortion of the little wean’s skin…
He looks up at me and gives me a frown
Watches as I jot down:
How now male sow?
Can’t we Kowtow this row?
Cos I’m allowed to wow crowds
With this crown of highbrow know-how
Despite having a head crowded by clouds.