Oh my days, it’s been so long since I was on here last. I feel like I’ve really underused this non-read blog. Damn. So in the meantime I’ve graduated and am now looking for a job. I have university stockholm syndrome, but we won’t delve into that just now as I’m going to serialise that for the university magazine (see, already depressing – ‘for the students, by the students’…I WAS a student..), so I’ll shove that on here as well. Two birds with one blog.

Here’s a poem. Personally, it’s some of my favourite poetry that I’ve written:

Posies so dozy hang heads, elbows piqued on little green leaves

Heads lollolling basking lazing in the warm eff ul gee ence, soaking lapping bathing

Until they are chlorlorophullyumyumyumyumyum sunlight inmytumrhshorussh

shrussrusthshrussszzsswwss the reeds whisper loudly discussing my asses ears

Ptee idees swelling from bud to leaf swinging legs from the branches of a dream

Ssrrruoothshrussszzsswwssthe reeds quietly listen to gawdy die ass rshss

ShhhhhShh Shh Shush glimmer glamour silence spreads to the reeeee’s…

Quiet lea now gold, now weaved now stitched now knitted by all you vile waters

Lapping and ebbing and flowing and eddying and charlying and simoning and diving and ducking

In and around lethe currents so somnolent, solemn solololomon molasses nibbling grasses

Tides of green always greener on the other side eyed monster with envy subdued behind dark flaps

Flanked with lashes bear hat guards standing tall and sharp don’t move for no man standing guard of

Iron roots copper branches and silver leaves glued together as egg drizzle bayownet topiary

aoooorghh aoorgh bees can’t fly he tells me too fat too round doesn’t stand up pound for pound tiny wings

According to the ancient scripts of the mahabharatatatablahblahblahblaharababata and the holey babble

Silly things buzzy sings prickly stings all bumbling and fumbling stroke twice firm but nice

But alas feted prince of most good fellows you disclose the discourse of distaste its sunny xunny zunny

Sunday xunday bzzunday road to mandalay no next left cracked dirt track to mandy lane you will not

Teach elephants that they cannot fly by flapping their pegasus ears, equine aural receptacles listen still not

Aeronaughty-aerodynatically-aerodybbukkally-cally whines flustered sweaty faints carried too much

Golden netaim too heavy too sunken into the ground hair like a shrub must water before aphilopecia

Curl up close eyes within eyes labyrinthine running from locus lands of desolate dreamers flee forward

To annwn and when asgard as hard cockaigme all over king ahh fuh- camelot maybe if we look you too peer

Utopia and mount but not limp us if you want to shangri-la-shag-girl-share-a-laugh she purred so alligatory

Maybe that’s what happens when evergreens decide to be deciduous cedric the cedricuous cedar sit her

In the cellar but alas said her egg drizzle binds us all warts and copper and iron and cocks and all

Stroke twice firm but nice smiles in the darkness warm as a minotaur’s snort warts and all she said

Reveal all she might have said lose it all she probably said take me she would have said prickarus

Plunges sunwards until light is dark and cosily coital string threaded in a shell master of the fast escape

Two tugs and your loose projectile river of lithe not lethe saturate and landscape the grey sunken

Cunt of the world planting trees swollen with buds bursting into leaves perfect hatchery for bzzing bees

Shrunken recoiling recoitaling hibernation quietly kipping simorg having sigorged shh yawny yawnerson

Luh eye suh uoh fuh tuh luh ee buh eh duh huh ehh duh yawny yawny break of yawn yawn flakes

A spat of spatchka mid afteryawn napka to rest a gulliver so fajjed from everynowhere and

Noeverywhere razzling and dazzling rascalling around rasoodock blame the nap das nerp zas noot

Zasnut zasnoot sew choodessny chepooka.