so I have to write a play for workshopping this week. I wanted to write a serious Joycian existential piece, but i’m too hungover to do that properly at the mo. So instead meet my clockwork-orange-cum-romany discussion about that episode of Saved By The Bell where they strike oil at bayside. The lingo takes a while to get used to. Jokes x

VINCENT: (to ELIJAH) Ay, thankoo brother (to DEEP sarcastically) and millson thanks to you tinchy brother for yer frills. (to BOTH) Anyhow, they Zee aroved mit his band, the namesies used by youth other there, Axe, Screetown, Lizles and Jessop. All flying doves alongside every-all. They found black watter, stickly thick, potently schlepping and implaus to excape. But millson riche, peoples lend riche for the sickly water tar. So many millsons. Alas and alacky doodle, it made blech a quacker our Zachariah flew with.

ELIJAH: Sickly waater?

VINCENT: For an ol’ duffs you ken so small stones….?

ELIJAH: Coco Puffs and low culzure, diets of tinchy subrub liffle. I never need to arove brother, I’m nay into faery liffle, unlike yoons. Now map yer synaps again.

VINCENT: calm jets brother, I’ll calm jests smother.

(VINCENT looks at both members of his audience.)

VINCENT: They rang bellish vox ,rang them loot and proud. There’az so many millson riches for sick watter than everyone was creamy pegged gurns.

DEEP: Rang it brother, ring for us, here and new..

VINCENT: Youse want a shilly shally dilly dally, loudly rung here and newt?

DEEP: (jovially) ay brother haha

ELIJAH: (laughs gruffly) hahaha, slot the ring Vincentio, Vinny-Venny, ring the halls with deck and sholly!

(VINCENT grins, surveys the entire audience, hops off his rock. He jangles loudly)

VINCENT: then ring I shall brothers!  Kenneth me their rovin ring,

(VINCENT sings and dances merrily)

When I woozies in the roosty

A’jangles tolls a tootsie ,

I fret I’ll chalk it off the curren chime

By the currens I swag glyphs and I share a prezzy shiffs

One angles for the currens and the sub jets high.

It’s areet, cause I’m saved by the bell.